Was I interested in older men when I was 17? Absolutely.
There was a 29 year old man I liked on the cusp of my 18th birthday, and I reminded him on the regular that I was about to be legal, probably to assuage him of any potential blowback for engaging with me even though my age ended in ‘teen’. Any chance I could, I would mention my soon to be age. At the time, I didn’t see it as a problem. My friends didn’t see it as a problem. So there was no problem. I think about my interest in him often as I’ve watched and listened to the drastic, tectonic shift around this conversation. I used to think I was only interested in older men, the idea of it was exciting – to be understood by someone and “allowed” to be myself because guys my age just didn’t get me. Now I’m 36 and my perspective has evolved. I’ve seen too much and I know too much to know that age is a numbers game.
I went to see Sean Baker’s Red Rocket and saw myself in the character Strawberry played by Suzanna Son – a younger woman with an instantaneous attraction to an older man – in fact, I would imagine that many women that see that film will. Smart and sweet in the way that costuming and the perfect shot can show in a millisecond, our youth wrapped up in a cooler, grainy package. A movie about nothing, with the backdrop of an imminent Trump presidency, where ‘a washed up porn star returns to his hometown in Texas City to try and find his footing again’ blah blah blah. I love an underdog story with a gritty backdrop and real characters. Initially I was on board.
A good looking, fast talking Simon Rex plays Mikey Saber who always gets what he wants. The kind of person that is able to weasel their way out of any encounter while the innocent bystander is the one that gets their ass beat. I know several of these men, actually–and have dated one that reminded me so much of Mikey that I left the theater and promptly sewed up my vagina and yelled ‘NEVER AGAIN!’ so much that even a homeless guy was like, ‘Ok! Everyone heard you!’ The type of man that it just sort of works out for, like, every time no matter how shitty of a thing he does/says/etc.. The kind of guy that says ‘I bet I could be an actor’ and turns out to be the next Bradley Cooper despite all of your hard work and effort to be successful doing anything. At all. There should be college courses taught on this.
Saber is eventually able to slink his way into his estranged wife’s bedroom, who has agreed to house him despite their fraught relationship. He fucks her, and even though she kicks him out a couple times post-coitus, he’s not going to stay out for long. Baby come back. Because assholes fuck the best. Then, after reconnecting with an old employer selling weed (eye roll) he makes enough to treat his wife and mother-in-law to donuts where he meets Strawberry. Their connection is immediate, and at first you think:
“Oh ho ho, look out Saber. She’s cute, but don’t do anything stupid.”
-Something I made up
But of course he does. He shows up to her work. Repeatedly. And just hangs out. Makes dumb jokes about donuts. “Helps” her study for her SATs, because, remember she’s going to be a senior in high school. While he’s there, he kisses her boss’ ass like a boy from school ‘yes sir-ing’ and ‘no ma’am-ing’ his girlfriend’s parents while he finger blasts her under the counter, and I’m wondering ‘why am I still supposed to like this person?’ I stopped finding it funny.
I’m all about art pushing boundaries, exploring the grey areas, so when it was over…I wanted to know what others thought and devoured as many reviews as I could. All praising the performances and the revitalization of Rex’s career (he’s back on top, folks!). Fine. Go off Leto and DiCaprio. I read the New York Magazine feature on him–he doesn’t seem awful. But not one mention of the fact that Mikey Saber spends the last three quarters of the film sleeping with a 17 year old Strawberry, and convincing her to go to LA with him where she’d be a shoo-in in the adult entertainment industry. This all being mentioned as an aside, not a major plot point, and presented under the guise of comedy and not something actually troublesome. Sort of like:
“Can you actually believe this guy? He’s gonna get away with it! It’s hilarious that he’s convincing this 17 year old to move to Los Angeles before her senior year of high school and really fuck up her life. What a trickster! He’s going to use her and she has no idea what’s going on because she trusts him. This is great! Do you think his wife will find out? Man, oh man. What. A. Hoot.”
-Another thing I came up with
Isn’t this the same praise that Woody Allen got for so long? What a deep, artistic dive into the mind of a creative genius, creating a character that preys on young women…truly fascinating. He was the man of the hour until we decided, as a society, that we were over his behavior. Ew, Woody. No! Off the counter! Badbadbad! Who decides when it has gone too far? Are we picking and choosing who we throw under the bus – and who decides that it’s art and you just don’t get it? As a person that has a vagina, am I, once again, taking things too seriously? It would appear that we have become so accustomed to this story line that it’s not worth the mention. Grooming is funny now! Don’t worry R. Kelly, there will be a sitcom soon – let’s call it Too Many Closets. Or is the joke that Saber is so pathetic? Baker seems deaf to the current conversation around grooming and consent. Grace Han at Hyperallergic is the only one to make the direct comparison to Lolita–and I’m not surprised as most of the reviews have been written by male presenting names.
So what’s my fucking problem?
- The fact that there is little discussion as to why the relationship between Strawberry and Saber is complicated or problematic? While I think that Son’s character has a good grasp on her sexuality as Strawberry and is clearly smarter than Mikey, does that make it ok?
- The legal age of consent in Texas is 17. Jesus take the wheel because I just got my driver’s license.
- Aren’t we tired of finding this shit funny?
- Or (!) Or (?) am I shocked that there isn’t more danger observed in Mikey’s behavior? The very existence of this dirtbag as a “parasitic predator” is a fucking joke, but let’s normalize it.
I’m leaning heavily toward number 3. I’m tired of the story line; bored by the ongoing trope that men are funny even when they are royally fucking up people’s lives. We don’t love it – but aren’t we entertained?! It’s allowing the 14 year old boy trapped in a man’s body to continue behaving like an asshole and call it art. Perhaps this review is written by a woman that wants better men or just better screenwriting. I’m the type that loves it when someone learns something, or gets what they deserve, or their dick falls off…but that wasn’t this film. I also know that comeuppance and happy endings are not necessarily a part of the deal. Maybe it’s that I’m still bothered by the tone deaf responses to a conversation that has become so much more mainstream…but still no one is listening.